Timing Us

(Assignment: Short form essay, less than 500 words).

Julia Carrasquel

ENG 111: Creative Writing Nonfiction

Prof. Michael Carolan

Final Draft: Short Essay

Timing Us

I check my $30 gold wristwatch: it’s 8:33PM and he just texted. He said to meet half way, meaning not in his parked car, not in my front door, but in between his nervousness and mine. I get out of class at 8:30PM, he’s punctual. We enter my room, he takes off his coat and respectfully puts it on my chair. I throw mine on the floor. We sit. After fifteen minutes we exchange Christmas gifts. I think he liked his, especially the little note that goes with it; I tried making it witty and cute. I hope he doesn’t notice the three drafts of this witty cute note sitting on my desk. I’m supposed to be casual: I am casual.

It’s been 27 minutes, four months, three coffee dates and a couple of other things since we meet half way today. Whoever invented time as we know it, counting seconds, minutes, and those dreadful hours, wasn’t aware that timing, not time, rules the world, and my life. I’m its puppet and it my master. So why am I keeping count of everything if it’s not time, but resolution what we are in need of? I feel his stare touching me from far away as I avoid eye contact.

The watch’s tick tock is filling the silence our small talk is making. Has it being ticking this entire time? I wonder if I’ve noticed before. I want to tell him so many things, but words escape my courage. 

Should I?

I look at my wristwatch for comfort but it’s not telling me what to do, so I stare. It has a world map printed on its face (well, mainly of Western Europe and Africa). It’s darkened around the edges of the band as I often forget to take it off when I shower or workout. I like my watch even if I know of at least three other people who have it. I like my watch even if I’m not sure I like knowing what time it is. I mean, being aware of time can be scary. Counting meaning in all his texts and half smiles - Exhausting. I often wonder how can time be so strict, so demanding, when not even heartbeats are that accurate or trustworthy. When we have no idea where this is going.

For three and a half years I knew exactly what time it was, without ever needing a watch. Being in a relationship is easy: I used to know when it was the 7^th of every month, when it was time to buy a gift or have a screaming match. But after wearing this wristwatch and not caring, of not caring if he would speak up, I find myself counting time again. I find myself expecting this to happen.

It’s 9:22PM according to my $30 gold wristwatch. He sees my voice blushing when I call his name: “Should we?”