(Assignment: Short form essay, less than 500 words).
Julia Carrasquel
ENG 111: Creative Writing
Nonfiction
Prof. Michael Carolan
Final Draft: Short Essay
Timing
Us
I check my $30
gold wristwatch: it’s 8:33PM and he just texted. He said to meet half way,
meaning not in his parked car, not in my front door, but in between his
nervousness and mine. I get out of class at 8:30PM, he’s punctual. We enter my
room, he takes off his coat and respectfully puts it on my chair. I throw mine
on the floor. We sit. After fifteen minutes we exchange Christmas gifts. I
think he liked his, especially the little note that goes with it; I tried
making it witty and cute. I hope he doesn’t notice the three drafts of this
witty cute note sitting on my desk. I’m supposed to be casual: I am casual.
It’s been 27
minutes, four months, three coffee dates and a couple of other things since we
meet half way today. Whoever invented time as we know it, counting seconds,
minutes, and those dreadful hours, wasn’t aware that timing, not time, rules
the world, and my life. I’m its puppet and it my master. So why am I keeping
count of everything if it’s not time, but resolution what we are in need of? I
feel his stare touching me from far away as I avoid eye contact.
The watch’s tick
tock is filling the silence our small talk is making. Has it being ticking this
entire time? I wonder if I’ve noticed before. I want to tell him so many
things, but words escape my courage.
Should
I?
I look at my
wristwatch for comfort but it’s not telling me what to do, so I stare. It has a
world map printed on its face (well, mainly of Western Europe and Africa). It’s
darkened around the edges of the band as I often forget to take it off when I
shower or workout. I like my watch even if I know of at least three other
people who have it. I like my watch even if I’m not sure I like knowing what
time it is. I mean, being aware of time can be scary. Counting meaning in all his
texts and half smiles - Exhausting. I often wonder how can time be so strict,
so demanding, when not even heartbeats are that accurate or trustworthy. When
we have no idea where this is going.
For three and a
half years I knew exactly what time it was, without ever needing a watch. Being
in a relationship is easy: I used to know when it was the 7th of
every month, when it was time to buy a gift or have a screaming match. But
after wearing this wristwatch and not caring, of not caring if he would speak
up, I find myself counting time again. I find myself expecting this to happen.
It’s 9:22PM
according to my $30 gold wristwatch. He sees my voice blushing when I call his
name: “Should we?”
